


Bump N Grind

by theimaginesyouneveraskedfor



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Funny, Humour, rnb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:01:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6188377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor/pseuds/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reader sings an old song which may not be entirely appropriate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bump N Grind

You sat looking at your own boots, the fur muddy from the days trek. The sky was dark and a fire crackle nearby. You should have been tired but you could not have been more awake, or more bored. The rest of the Company seemed to share you listlessness as they chattered and fidgeted around you. You had yet to get used to this world and you dearly missed your music player. You began to bob your head to the indistinct tune in your head.

“Eh, [Y/N],” Fili said from beside you, “What are you doing over there? Looks like you’re having some sort of fit.”

“Nah, just bored,” You picked at a twig, “Got some dumb song stuck in my head.”

“A song?” Kili interjected, “Why don’t you share it then? The lot of us are just as bored, if you’re not too blind to look up from your boots.”

“I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” You replied as you didn’t even know what song it was hanging around in your head.

“Song! Song! Song!” Kili began to chant, Fili joined him almost immediately, and soon half the camp had joined, though they weren’t sure what was going on.

“Fine!” You jumped up to your feet and desperately searched your mind for any song, everything seemed so blank.

“Go on, lass,” Bofur came closer and sat beside the Durin brothers, the other dwarves began to form a circle closer to you. Even Dwalin and Thorin had stepped a little closer.

“Okay, just let me think.” You closed your eyes and caught a tune. You followed it and groaned; no, _that would not do_. Your searched again, finding nothing; _this was going to get weird._ You weren’t even sure if you knew all the lyrics, but they seemed to be there. “Alright,” You cleared your throat before straightening your shoulders.

_My minds telling me nooooooo….._

You gave a pause and all the dwarves stared back curiously.

_But my body. My body’s telling me ye-e-e-essss._

You couldn’t help but throw your arms out dramatically.

_Baby, I don’t want to hurt nobody. But there is something that I must confe-e-e-essss…_

You looked around at their wide eyes.

_…To you._

You heard the tune in your head and began to sway with it.

_I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. Ba-a-aby._

You couldn’t help your hips from moving.

_See, I know just what you want and I know just what you need, girl. So, baby, bring your body to me._

You continued to work your hips.

_I’m not fooling around with you._

You began to move around the crowd of dwarves who were transfixed.

_Baby, my love is true. With you is where I wanna be._

You began to get really into it, letting yourself sway a little more.

_Girl, you need someone, someone like me, yeah. To satisfy your every need._

You began to grind a little deeper, grabbing your hips as you got to the course.

_I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind ._

You thought that maybe this had gone a little far but you could help it. Kili wanted a show, so he’ll get one. And so will the rest who had joined in on his silly chant.

_You say he’s not treating you right. Lady, spend the night now._

You turned to Kili with a devilish look, pointing at him with your best smirk.

_I’ll love you like you need to be loved._

You continued your way around the circle, closing in on the two most serious faces.

_Girl, won’t you try some of me?_

You ran your finger down Thorin’s chest teasingly and you saw his cheeks pinken slightly.

_No need to look no more. Because I’ve opened up my doors._

You shimmied a little towards Dwalin who you could swear look a bit afraid.

_You’ll never want another love. You’ll never find another me._

You put the last of your soul into the line and bumped and grinded along the line of Dwarves and the Hobbit who was hiding behind Bombur.

_You see you need someone, someone like me, yeah. To make love to you, baby, constantly._

You shouldn’t have thrusted so enthusiastically but you couldn’t help yourself, lifting your arms up to trace the curves of your figure.

_I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind._

Your dancing only got worse as you got closer to the ends, you wiggled your butt towards Fili who had a dopey smile on his face.

_I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind._

You stopped with a final grind and stood out of breath, looking around the crowd of faces.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Kili’s mouth hung open like the rest of the Company and you laughed to yourself.

“Ahem,” Thorin ran his hand through his hair, “I think that’s enough singing for the night.”

“I’m prepared for an encore,” You countered, “You are gonna love you some sweet Beyonce jazz.”

“I could go for another,” Bofur drooled and you couldn’t help but smile.

“This one’s called ‘Drunk in Love’,” You removed your heavy cloak and prepared yourself for the show.


End file.
